A Heritage Adoption

If it wasn’t clear in my initial post, I’ve wanted to be a mom for a long time. And yet, aside from my two oldest friends and their kiddos, who I love so much, I know very few people with kids here in LA. Over the years friends in my inner circle who proudly do not ever want them have been the norm. I’ve often felt like the odd woman out. In fact listening to them talk about not wanting kids, made me realize how much I did want them, and how important that was for me. So needless to say, (though I’m clearly gonna anyway) these days it doesn’t take much to make me tear up, because I’m finally gonna be a mom!

I think (maybe I’m wrong) most people realize that babies are easier to place. Parents don’t wanna miss out on all the “firsts” and they want the full experience of parenthood, but they also don’t want to deal with the “problems” older children can have potentially.

I have always said/joked that a big pro to adoption could be that you’d get to avoid diapers and those long infant nights. And anytime I’d hear a parent talk about the disgusting explosive diarrhea that necessitates an immediate bath for baby and parent, I’ve secretly been like, you silly people, you could’ve avoided that!

So when I heard during my initial information call that if you want a child from Colombia they were only adopting age 5 and older to Americans these days, I didn’t really care. But then I actually started the process, and I have a friend showing me her niece’s little “firsts” and I’m like, oh my god, I’m could miss that. I could miss their first word, their first step… Damnit… I guess cue the explosive diapers….

Once I officially talk to an agency and tell them my story and why I wanted to adopt from Colombia the woman says to me, “Well then you could do a heritage adoption. Are you a dual citizen?”

“No, I’m not. I’ve thought of it, but never really wanted to deal with the paperwork.”

“Ahh well that’s something that has changed since you were adopted, all kids now finalize their adoption in country and arrive back in America as a dual citizen.”

“Oh, that’s great.”

“As a heritage adoption you would qualify for a child age 0-5. But you’ll need to become a dual citizen.”

She informs me that they’ve worked with other heritage parents before on helping them get the dual citizenship while processing the adoption. I even get a bit of a discount on their agency fee!

So this is what I’m doing. In order to apply, I need an original birth certificate with my current legal name, That has been getting worked on for months and I’m told I should have it really soon. The birth certificate I did have, had my birth name on it, so 1st step is getting a new one!

Side note: this summer when I told my mom that I would need all the documents she had for me, so the agency could review and confirm this would be an option for me, I assumed this would take her a month or 2 at minimum. Low and behold, 2 weeks later I had all my adoption documentation in my hand. Nothing motivates a parent more than the prospect of becoming a grandparent, apparently.

I still don’t know for sure what age I really want. I think at this point (or until someone forces me to specify) I’m going to turn this one over to the Universe. I think there’s pros and cons to any age really. As a future single mom, who won’t be able to take turns with a partner for late night feedings etc., I really think I would be fine avoiding a baby baby, but a kid experiencing the terrible twos while being completely uprooted and taken from everything they’ve ever known… send all the prayers, to all the gods. Ya know, just do it anyway. It’s gonna be hard!

I mean, no matter what gift I’m given, it will be hard, there’s no doubt about that. That’s parenthood, right? The good news is that one day many moons from now, they’ll call me up and tell me they have a kid in mind for me. Since there’s better records kept these days, there’s a good chance they’ll have a history and information on said child, and at which time I can decide yes or no. Though I can’t imagine after waiting all this time that I would say no. That’s a call I dream about on the reg. My parents often told me about what it was like the day they got that call about me, and I can’t wait for this cycle to repeat itself!